I Love You, Baby Girl

The unexpected surprise

you were

almost the end

of my daughter’s life

and I was so scared.

I came

and I came to visit

and I stayed.

I am grateful money, time and resources were on our side.

I guss we made it happen; but, one never knows if just one twist of fate would have produced a different outcome?  To date, you have not been seriously ill, no returns to the hospital and only momentary lapses with your mother’s health issues and her surgery.

Did I mention how grateful I am?

How can I ever say how much I love you?

You and your Mom are wounds so tightly around my heart

it feels like the best of roses with the most thorns

so scary, I dare not say.

I cannot imagine life without you.

Having you has made me a believer again, given me reason to live and made laughter bubble inside a dark place where I thought the dead dwelled forever.

How to describe you?  At less than two years old, you are so  much your own person.  You know what you want and you will get it with a please, a frown or a screaming cry.  You love to dance, you like to inspect my house to see what is new and you are never very happy in the car.  You love ducks and dogs.  Your words are getting clearer and better and you will not eat something you do not want; will not try it; no way.

To my way of thinking, you are much like your mother; but, different.  I think she wanted or needed to please.  You really could care less.  Your main goal is getting outside and you will do it by hook or by crook.  Your chuckles fill your belly and your eyes light up when you see someone you love and you love back.  I know babes are supposed to be given safety and security and then they derive pleasure from having their drives satisfied.  That explanation just does not wash for you and me.  In your wonderful hand, I have known joy.  In naps with you, I have felt peace.  With you, I am the closest I will ever be to heaven and I am not afraid of dying because now I have truly lived.





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