My First True Love

You were my First.

Peach fuzz and mottled yellow

I did not know enough

to realize it was jaundice.

We merged

mother and baby

I still feel it sometimes

and it surprises me when I think you do not

and then, I remember.  What my memories are

are not yours.  I hope you have the soft girl baby

experience so I can be a part of it.

When he came

it seems he was squirmy, tough and wanted to get down

immediately.

You were always warm and looking around

observing

as your own poetry details.

He has the moves of a poet with swift feet, a Mercury

his last year before his first year.

I try to pry him away from your thoughts

and it is impossible

as impossible as prying you away from my thoughts.

Although we have not lived together under the same roof,

for many years

you are still like me.

I do not know if it pleases you

as you are also proud to be your own woman.

I think being your mother’s daughter

does not suit

and yet, you are.

To me, you will always be mine to love

and cherish

and be surprised at the differences and be glad

there are differences

and until and if your granddaughters are born

you will not know what I know.

There is nothing quite like having a daughter

who is middle aged, successful and coming into her own

as a parent of a fully fledged young man.

It is a great and good joy.  Thank you.

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