If You Still Loved Me

Gone you are

once again

you told me so

you told me your

relationships were off and on.

I decided

I could be on whether you were

here or gone.

I find I cannot.

I can choose to be sad

we have ended.

Or, I could pretend

in my head

the dinner you invited me to

still exists and we are going; together.

I do not feel as lonely as I did before

before I met you

before there was a we

at the grocery store, getting your auto fixed

and viewing damage caused by the storm of 2016.

For a while, we were together, together

and now, I am alone.

As I knew, I am okay.

I have little desire to go out there

and get my nose and soul bloodied once more.

The pleasure was worth the pain

and maybe, someday, soon,

I will try again

and choose better

more wisely or

allow love to lead the way.

Better to have loved and lost….