I never knew your father.
I never knew your mother.
I am honored beyond words when you describe me as “like a mother” to you to your son.
I love you to the depth of my being and I am so glad we could move toward each other again. I am so glad your wife shares you and your sons with me.
How hard we worked. How much we cried. How desperate we felt. How much we tried. All those things added up to our present state and if that is so; it is a gift from her. She brought us together. He gave us the job and coordinated the team of carers. We did the work; you and me. We did it while she lived. We did it since she died. We do it now by living each day and being so very grateful for what we have and at the same moment know how swiftly it can disappear with a meeting in the hallway at a hospital and life changes forever more.
Why does your elder son love me so? Why do I feel such a connection from me to him? We seem to mesh in a natural way. Makes me wonder if she is still hanging around trying to manage things?
I delight your little boy who is growing so fast. He is such a vigorous and talented child. How much she would love them both. Even as I write these words, tears well up in my eyes and I feel she is still with us in another form. To me, it seems she flies back and forth from a perch somewhere above while she plays with little dogs and hikes and visits with her Dad and then comes down to check on us to see if we are following the trail she blazed for us.
As for the one who drew us together and gave me my name, I do not know. It is still a puzzle to me. Loving you and your family is enough right now. I may be aging gracefully as it seems to be less and less important to figure out the mysteries of the past and more productive to focus on the here and now and what can be in the future.
The man I have watched you become has moved from his own self interests to the interests of other humankind he now travels the surface of the earth with and those who came before him. You have a sense of your place in history. Your lovely wife has directed your feet and your thoughts well. She has assisted you in choosing the best ways, the ways less traveled and shared her philosophy of living lightly on Mother Earth. It shows in the way you are with her and your family. As you speak of the younger members, it is clear you are becoming a role model, mentor and friend to the other men and women you meet and know. You have developed a sharp moral compass and do not hesitate to share it with others. You have discovered your own principles and they are surprisingly aligned with my own.
I love you and I am so very glad you are in my life.