She loves me not; She loves Me

I was

the little girl

whose mother

did not cherish her.

I was the very little girl

who played outdoors most of the day

with a pack of children

away from my mother’s eyesight and

she never came to find me.

I now have daughters everywhere.  I have the

blood related ones and the ones I decide will be my spiritual descendents.

You blue eyed blond are my heart; my favorite

and I know you because we are both lionnesses waiting to pounce.

Today, I asked you how many people were in our car (5);

you answered one and your mother laughed and laughed.  So LEO, she said.

I think her laughter contained more kernels of truth than I want to know

because you are the granddaughter of me

and it shows in the way you behave.

Today, after I told you I go home and cry when you do not give me a hug; you gave me

a free one.  It was brief, you did not even sit in my lap.  You are five, you have places to go

and people to see.  Your play life is rich and having much to do with your grandmother comes way down on your list; until and if, it does.

Then, heart of hearts, I feel your breath on my cheek and the warmth of your tiny body leaning against mine and I know wonder, faith and love.

 

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